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Have you ever had a project or client relationship careen off the tracks through no discernible fault of your own, leaving you feeling hurt, confused, and doubting yourself? I know I have. What I’ve learned from it all is relationships or projects only go sideways when an expectation goes unmet. That’s it! And guess what? Boundaries are a great way to communicate and establish expectations, ensuring everyone knows where they stand, what’s expected of them, and how to behave. If you’ve ever looked at someone who has great boundaries – you know, the folks who don’t people-please, respect their own time and needs, and for whom “no” is a complete sentence – and thought you could never be like that, prepare to do a complete 180. But first, let’s do a quick check-in. If you’ve ever found yourself:
You probably have a leaky boundary or two. Which is fine because (a) we’ve all been there (b) it’s not your fault and (c) this is completely fixable. If boundary-setting seems like a skill possessed only by the chosen few, I’ve got good news. We can all develop this superpower. Life-changing benefits include:
Ready to bring some of this awesomeness into your life? Read on for 3 ways to set firm, loving boundaries. 1) Work from the inside outBoundaries, like values, are unique to you and exist to support you being the fullest, most aligned version of yourself. You can’t create boundaries if you don’t know what personal needs you want to be met. A few questions that might support your inquiry into what YOU need include:
2) Embrace the paradoxThe reason so many of us shy away from boundary setting is we fear it’ll make us less likable and that we’ll be perceived as difficult, inflexible, less desirable to work with. Sadly, that fear is even greater for women, who, for the most part, were told from a very young age that to succeed in anything, we need to be pleasant, nice, and accommodating. The stronger your boundaries, the freer you are to show up fully as your generous, wonderful self because you’ll be working with the folks who respect your value, energy, and time. Let me repeat: Boundaries allow you to be fully yourself. If it’s hard for you to let go of the false conditioning around boundaries and likeability (though to be sure, the goal here is not to be liked by everyone!), I encourage you to look to people who inspire you with their authenticity and clarity. I mentioned Brené Brown as a role model for me. A couple of others include authors, speakers, and social justice advocates Austin Channing Brown and Sonya Renee Taylor. I’m happy to say, my list is growing all the time! 3) Set the stage early (and reinforce often)Being clear about your boundaries from the get-go is the best way to develop respectful, healthy, long-lasting relationships. It’s like going on a first date and being fully yourself vs. trying to be the person you think your date might like more (been there, worn that T-shirt, it never works!) Here are some concrete ways you can achieve this goal:
Setting and maintaining boundaries is an act of love and respect for yourself and others. In my experience, engaging with them as fluid, rather than fixed parameters, makes the process feel liberating, rather than restrictive. Do feel free to build as you go and play around until you find what works for you. Happy boundary-building! via Freelancers Union Blog https://blog.freelancersunion.org/2021/05/24/build-up-your-boundaries-for-better-working-relationships/
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AuthorI have 5+ years experience working as a medical transcriptionist. When I am not working, I enjoy sports like playing basketball or judo. I love making friends and connections. Archives
April 2023
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